So many things have changed over these past 16 years of my life. That was the age I've started going to school, started mingling around, and of course the age I actually left my home (even if it was only for 6 hours). Being in a village was never easy for any of us (my parents especially), there wasn't any big malls, not even a small supermarket (only a small smelly wet market with limited vegetables), no pos office or any other government facilities (having a small police hut doesn’t count). There weren't even any clinics, what more hospitals to cater for the sick. People from my village had to drive at least 20 km away to seek for help if they were sick. This was also true in my case when it came to schools. The nearest decent school was in the next town, and my mom had to drive me to school early in the morning and had to fetch me after that everyday (I was a very pampered kid and since I am the 1^st grandchild, no one wanted me to travel by public transport, having the fear that the bus drivers might hurt me with their reckless driving.)

However I was only there for 3 years and at the age of 9 I left the school and my parents to live with my grandma and went to the school near her house until I ended my secondary school. The school I used to go to, the school at that time was like my existence, was a memory that I vowed to myself never to forget (which of course I did indeed forget.) but then 2 days ago, I went back to the school for some wedding and the moment my dad droved into that school, I started to refresh the old memories.

The school looks the same to me, only it looks smaller and wasn't at all as big as I thought it was 16 yrs ago. The old canteen where I used to play 'getah' with my friends was still there (even the benches looked the same-old and rusty), the field I won my first 'medal' (a green Tupperware) was unchanged. And even the classrooms looked similar (with no fan). The hall where I first had my dance performance although didn't look as gigantic as it was at that age, was still the same old brown colour stage with no difference at all.

Although I cant remember much about whatever happened in that 3 years of my life there, I still can remember bits and pieces of my life then-My first dance (although just as a back up dancer), my first meeting with the dentist, my first fist fight and punishment after that to stand on the desk the whole day, my first crush and a broken heart (the guy I fancied liked my best friend) and others. But then this was also the school that taught me that being on top in education is what matters most (if you want someone to listen and respect you), and nothing else (I used to be the queen of everything-sports, fights, 'teng-teng', 'getah', and 'galah panjang' but the worst when it came to exams). Things although had changed over these years, who I am now actually started from there and hopefully, after today I will remember the things I used to do when I was little..

Even before the holidays started I've decided on things to do (as usual I had the 'to-do list)-to read those tons of books I have at home, watch every shahrukh movie (again), loose those extra pounds I've gained during study break, and start working voluntarily in the hospital and guess wut? Classes are about to start in 2 weeks and I haven't done any of the above mentioned stuff!! Ive reread all Judith McNaughts books (which wasn't at all in the list!), not a single SRK movies, couldn’t be bothered to loose my 14 hours beauty sleep for some hospital which apparently doesn't seem to need a pharmacist and haven't come close to a drop of sweat (apart from dance class)!!. And now, I can't fit into my bloody formal pants!! Argh!! I just wish I could rewind to 2 months ago and this time I will strictly follow my 'to-do list' (with addition of 3 must watch series-House, Grey’s anatomy and prison break). Haish..How nice if life was Astro max..

The greatest power known to man is that of unconditional love. The power to love someone unlimitedly, a strength that lifts one up in gloomy days and a sentiment to be shared for a greater return. But then again, if one is to decide between your life and of someone you love, who will you choose? The life you have been collecting since the first breath you took, or someone you whole life is dedicated to?

Easily people will say 'I'd sacrifice everything for the person I love'. But what if that particular person cant recall having been associated with you, will you still stand strong behind him/her? That's exactly what was answered by a non-commercial Hindi movie I watched last nite- Maine Gandhi Ko Nehi Mara (I didn’t kill Gandhi).

Basically it's about a professor who has Alzheimer and his daughter, not knowing what to do or what went wrong had to loose everything (fiancé, job, friends etc) all because of her dad's sickness which was regarded as 'mentally ill'. Fighting the world wouldn't have accomplished anything so instead she accompanied him in his world. The story line was ordinary but the emotion involved was so strong that I couldn't help to think what if I was in her shoes. Will I just leave them in a mental institute and get on with my life, or will I love them unconditionally and be with them? The thought itself is very depressing and I pray to god never in my life to give me those kinds of experiences. But then again, personally, I believe the word-'unconditional love' was specially thought for parents; one will do whatever thing for their parents, laying everything on their feet, and expecting nothing in return. At least, its true for me..